


gold rush (I don’t like that falling feels like flying ‘till the bone crush)

by 1989arrows



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Evermore - Freeform, F/M, Felicity Smoak-centric, Gold Rush, Inspired by Taylor Swift, No Dialogue, Pining, Season/Series 01, Season/Series 02, Unrequited Crush, well not really unrequited but Felicity doesn’t know that here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28153833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1989arrows/pseuds/1989arrows
Summary: Felicity Smoak never wanted the things everyone else wanted and Oliver Queen, no matter how much she daydreamed about him, was no exception to that.
Relationships: Oliver Queen & Felicity Smoak, Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak
Comments: 14
Kudos: 63





	gold rush (I don’t like that falling feels like flying ‘till the bone crush)

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  _  
> Gleaming  
>  Twinkling  
> Eyes like sinking  
> ships on waters  
> so inviting  
> I almost jump in _   
> 

Felicity Smoak had never been a popular kid. Back in Las Vegas, where she lived from the day she was born to the day she left for college, her classmates found her weird and she was often bullied for always being the smartest person in the room. Frankly, she wasn’t really interested in hanging with many of them either. Their conversations held little appeal to her. She had never been happier than when she got a full ride scholarship at 16 to go to MIT. It was there where she finally found people whose interests resembled hers. It was also there where she met her first love, Cooper.

On paper, Cooper and Felicity were a match made in heaven. In some ways, they were so similar that Felicity sometimes felt like she was dating a male version of herself. That’s a good thing, right? That’s what she used to think. But what Felicity liked the most about Cooper was that, just like her, he didn’t attract much attention outside of their orbit. 

She was used to watching people around her do completely ridiculous things in hopes of gaining the attention of the hottest, most popular girls and guys. They resembled animals in heat competing to win a mating contest. She never saw the appeal in wanting someone who everyone else wanted too. I mean, don’t get her wrong, she understood being attracted to hot people and, admittedly, she could say that she had been attracted to some in her life too, but to go to such extremes to be with someone anyone could have? It definitely didn’t make sense to her.

Once Cooper died in prison, Felicity wasn’t interested in dating for a long time and when she finally opened herself to the idea the few guys she dated were nice enough, but there were no sparks and she’s never been one to try and force something that isn’t there, so nothing really lasted more than three dates. 

It went that way until Oliver Queen appeared in her life. Former (and current) womanizer, shipwreck survivor Oliver Queen who was the dream man of most women and some men in Starling City. She would be the biggest liar in the world if she denied how attracted she was to him from the moment she met him. That attraction turned into an embarrassing crush that she knew was more obvious than she would like to think about, especially since she became little more than a babbling mess around him. She often found herself daydreaming unlikely scenarios that made her feel ashamed for even daring to entertain them for a second. 

It was all made worse by the fact that for all his womanizing ways, it seemed that Oliver’s heart belonged to the one and only Laurel Lance. Gorgeous Laurel who in his eyes no one could measure up to and who could do no wrong. Gorgeous Laurel for whom he’d leave anything hanging just to go to her rescue. This became more obvious the better she got to know him and she considered it a fact once she was in on his vigilante secret.

Sadly, her crush on him (which part of her knew was more than a crush at this point, but that wasn’t something she was ready to admit to herself yet) became more obvious too, to the point where even his mom was aware of it. She knew Moira Queen wouldn’t want Oliver to ever date her, but the joke was on her because as much as she knew her crush on Oliver was no secret, his disinterest on her was just as visible to anyone who ever saw them together.

After Russia, there was no doubt in Felicity’s mind that Oliver would be willing to sleep with anyone but her. She understood Laurel Lance, his star crossed lover who was his reason for surviving 5 years in hell, she even understood Helena Bertinelli, who helped him fill his hero complex and obviously sweet Mckenna Hall, who was so nice Felicity herself suggested to him that he should date her. And of course, of course she understood Sara. Not unlike the way her and Cooper had been initially attracted to each other by their similarity, Oliver and Sara had the same darkness inside of them that helped them understand each other. She may think he needed a little light in his life, but it made sense for him to pick the one he could most relate to. 

But Isabel? Really? Even more insulting she found his “Because of the life that I lead…” line. I mean, he really didn’t owe her anything, not even an explanation, but to give her that bullshit line as a way of softening the blow of his rejection was insulting. Especially since she was as involved as him in the vigilante life. And come on, it’s not like she ever explicitly asked for anything other than friendship from him, and even that she sometimes felt was a stretch. 

The worst part was that she couldn’t even blame him. It’s not like he was being cruel about it. She figured he was used to people falling at his feet without him having to do much for it to happen. He probably didn’t give much thought to her unrequited crush on him not because he didn’t care about her (she knew he did) but because he was used to people having physical, fleeting feelings for him. She wondered what it would be like to have the world at her feet, just like he did. Then she felt guilty for even thinking that, since maybe it was true that there was a time when Oliver had everything he could’ve asked for and more, but after the shipwreck he had been through enough trauma in his life and was owning up not only to his own mistakes, but trying to make up for his father’s. If the women he chose to sleep with were the ones he felt helped him fill the void he had inside, then so be it. 

And yeah, she had quiet dreams she kept to herself about them. She often thought about what it would be like to fall asleep on his chest, the quiet beat of his heart luring her to sleep. She often fantasized about traveling the world together and discovering not only unknown places, but themselves. She imagined them arguing over leaving wet towels on the bed and on what to eat for dinner. Most of all, she imagined them loving each other physically and emotionally in a way so consuming that she would only dare to love someone so strongly in daydreams. 

But daydreams were daydreams and the reality was completely different. The pining had to stop and she needed to put her feet in the ground to be able to move on from impossible scenarios. She couldn’t afford to keep on wishing for a “them” when he made it clear time after time that she wasn’t even an option. Fake “I love yous” notwithstanding. 

The truth is, Felicity wasn’t interested in competing for his attention. He could want her on his own volition or not , and since he clearly didn’t, well, that was that.

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  _  
> Gleaming  
>  Twinkling  
> Eyes like sinking  
> ships on waters  
> so inviting  
> I almost jump in _   
> 
> 
>   
> I wasn’t really sure where I was going with this when I started writing, but halfway through I realized that I wanted to focus on Felicity’s thoughts on what she thought was a one sided crush during Seasons 1 and 2. When describing gold rush, Taylor said that it “...takes place inside a single daydream where you get lost in thought for a minute and then snap out of it.” Following that line, I preferred to keep it short and not include any type of dialogue. There’s something about this song that reminds me so much of Felicity in the earlier seasons, because I know that sadly that’s how she was feeling.
> 
> I’m sorry for any mistakes this story may have, English is not my first language. Thank you so much for reading, hope you enjoyed it. Happy Holidays to all!


End file.
